


Erik Makes a List

by Sophia_Bee



Series: Charles and Erik: Man on The Train [9]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Ass Play, Babies, Blow Jobs, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is Insane, M/M, Poor Charles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 04:21:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7830271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Bee/pseuds/Sophia_Bee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all. Erik makes lists. Charles puts up with Erik.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Grocery List

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to bestie beta **LeafeyLocket**

“Grocery shopping?”

Erik pauses at the top of the stairs and turns towards Charles, who is sitting on the couch. Erik’s wearing worn jeans, a crisp v-neck t-shirt, and he has some of their reusable shopping bags in his hand. It’s Sunday morning, one of those rare mornings when they finally have some time alone and it appears Erik has decided to do the shopping. Charles smiles to himself. He has been waiting for this moment.

“We might need a lot of food soon.” Erik says nonchalantly, “I mean, once the baby arrives we won’t be going out much.”

“Um.”

Erik grins.

“You do know it’s not our baby, right?”

Raven is due any day now. That’s what she moans when Skypes Charles from the mansion, telling him that this little mutant better climb out of her soon or she’s going to go crazy. At least she has Hank to paint her toenails. Sharon has abandoned her dog club and has taken to hovering, making Raven feel smothered.

“Clearly I know that Charles. Don’t be daft.” Erik laughs, as if Charles shouldn’t be worried. Charles knows Erik. He should be worried. Very worried.

“I found your grocery list Erik,” Charles says dryly. Erik blinks. Charles picks up his phone and finds his photos. After reading the list, he’d snapped a picture then carefully placed it on the counter, sure that Erik would never suspect his grocery list would be intercepted. Then he’d waited.

“Yes,” Erik responds, sounding a bit impatient, as if the lettuce is actively wilting and he must hurry on. Charles makes a great show of finding the picture he’d taken when he’d found the carefully folded paper torn from the kitchen notepad.

“Milk,” Charles reads.

“Yes. We’re almost out.”

“Bread.”

“I know how you like your toast.”

“Butter.”

“Can’t have toast without butter.”

Charles glares over his phone at his husband, who is still maintaining an entirely innocent facade.

“Apples.”

“An apple a day… Isn't that how you Americans say it? Of course, I don’t know if you really want to keep _this_ doctor away…”

Charles ignores Erik, a well-honed skill he’s developed, and reads the next item.

“Oatmeal.”

“Porridge. My favorite.”

Charles reaches the next item, pauses for a second, then reads it to his husband.

“Fuck Charles.”

Erik says nothing. Charles stares at him.

“Really, Erik? ‘Fuck Charles’. On your grocery list? Nestled between oatmeal…”

“Porridge.”

“...and coffee?”

“I’m getting old.”

“You’re thirty eight.”

“My memory isn’t what it used to be. I might forget.”

Charles rolls his eyes. As if Erik would ever forget to fuck him. He’d done it just that morning. Clearly his memory is intact.

“I never want to forget.”

“This goes in public, Erik. PUBLIC. You could drop it, leave it at the register for all the world to see!”

Erik is silent. He looks at Charles, entirely unrepentant. Charles stares back at his entirely uncontrollable husband.

“Do you need anything?” Erik finally says with a shrug, as if this entire conversation never actually happened. “I’m going to the store.”

Charles’ mouth falls open. He closes it. Then he gives in.

“Half and half. We’re out.”

Erik smiles. His mouth twitches a bit. “And a blow job?” Erik adds.

Erik speeds down the stairs, dodging the couch pillow that hits the wall instead of him.


	2. The Blow Job List

“I’ve made a huge mistake.” 

Erik twirls his fork in his linguine, not truly paying attention to what Charles is saying. 

“La Spiga is so good...wait, mistake? What mistake Charles?”

“Our vows. I left something out.”

Erik's fork stills. He looks at Charles with a little worried frown and Charles fights the urge to reach across the table and smooth it away. No. His husband will not get off easily this time. 

“I just didn’t realize it would become such an issue at the time. I mean, we barely knew each other. But in hindsight, huge mistake.”

“Charles!” Erik says, his voice a little strangled. 

“Then I found this list on our dresser. I’m pretty sure it was placed there on purpose.” Charles reaches in the pocket of his slightly too tight jeans and pulls out the piece of paper that he’d found while Erik was in the shower. Erik’s eyes go wide with relief for a brief moment then he regains a look of carefully crafted innocence as Charles waves the piece of paper in front of him. “Don’t think I don’t know what this is about.” 

“You should like that list,” Erik says with a sly smile. “I like that list. It’s a good list.”

“I should have just put it in the vows Erik, to make it abundantly clear,” Charles continues, ignoring both his husband and the flush that creeps up his own cheeks. He sets the list on the table. “No beards Erik. I’m serious. No. Beards”

Erik picks up the list and glances at it, making a show of reading it despite the fact that Charles knows he wrote it. It’s in his handwriting, after all, and the paper it’s on is from that pad of paper that they keep in the kitchen. 

“The benefits of blow jobs,” Erik reads. 

“I know this has nothing to do with blow jobs, Erik, and everything to do with beards.”

“One. Reduces depression in men.”

“Do not read that out loud, Erik Lehnsherr! Plus, you aren’t depressed.” 

Erik glances across the table at Charles with one eyebrow cocked. “And I’m getting quite a few blow jobs these days, aren’t I? Case in point.”

Charles’ mouth clamps shut. 

“Hmmmmmm…” Erik hums, returning to the list. “Oh, yes. This one. Makes my husband talk like a dirty whore.” 

“Erik!” 

“Am I wrong?” 

The flush on Charles’ cheeks deepens. No, Erik is not wrong. The profanities flow when Erik’s mouth is on his cock.

“Do you like that?” Charles asks, feeling his righteous indignation slip away a little. 

“God yes, Charles. Your mouth with those dirty things pouring out of it. Unf, it’s just….”

Charles feels his cock start to perk up. He sends it a message to stand down, no matter how much Erik’s love of his filthy mouth pleases it. “Still no beard, Erik. Because you know the price. The price is NO BLOW JOBS.”

“Hmmmmm,” Erik hums, ignoring Charles’ ultimatum. He returns to looking at the list. “Oh. Yes. That one.” 

“Which one?” 

“Number five.” 

Charles glares across the table. Number five? Erik knows full-well Charles hasn’t memorized the list and here he’s going on about number five. 

“Mmmmm,” Erik intones, as if he’s bitten into the most delicious dessert. “Yes. I think you would miss that, Charles. After all, I’m very good at it.” 

Charles is confused because from his standpoint, Erik is pretty much good at all aspects of sucking Charles off, from the moist, hot suction of his mouth, to the way he licks him just under the head, making Charles crazy. Good god, maybe bringing up the list over dinner wasn’t the best idea after all because suddenly making a quick trip to the bathroom stall is sounding like a good idea, and the last thing they need to do is scandalize their favorite restaurant. 

“I mean, I can take you in deep, but it’s possible it could be deeper.” 

_Oh god_ Charles is now hard. Fuck this.

“Jesusfuckingchrist I’m going to kill you for this, you asshole!” Charles spits out. 

“Maybe we should get the bill,” Erik answers. “Maybe a list isn’t enough. I should really show you what you would miss.”

“No beard,” Charles says, waving his hand to get the wait-person’s attention. Erik frowns. No, pouts. 

“But Logan has one...” 

Charles levels a glare at Erik. “I do not care what that mountain man has on his face....”

“...and Scott clearly has no complaints. I mean, he’s looking pretty satisfied these days.”

“No.” Charles says firmly.

“They look nice with v-necks.” 

“No.” 

The check arrives and Charles pulls out his wallet as Erik grins from across the table, clearly thinking that the current score is Beard: 1, Charles: 0. 

“Ready to go home?” Erik asks, his voice a little husky. Charles knows what will happen when they get home. It very well may happen in the front seat of the Fiat if they don’t hurry up. 

“God, yes,” Charles says.


	3. The Ass List

“You like my ass.” 

Charles is sitting at the dining room table with a pile of bills in front of him. Erik is coming up the stairs with a basket full of laundry. Erik stops and puts the laundry basket on the floor. 

“Well, yes,” Erik says, his brow knitting a little, “I think that should be obvious by now.” 

“Yes,” Charles responds. “I mean, there’s the ass book, the ass sculpture, the ass screen-saver.” 

“I changed that!” Erik says quickly. 

“Well, yes, but it was still in existence for a while.” 

“Scott liked that one.” 

“No he didn’t. You liked showing it to him.” 

Erik smiles. “Yes, I did. Sometimes I miss those days. Speaking of Scott, Logan and I are going to the boat show this weekend.” 

“The boat show? Since when do you like boats?” 

“Since Logan is my best friend,” Erik states with a smile, knowing full-well that ever since Logan started dating Scott, Charles has been entirely annoyed. It’s not that Charles is jealous, but there had been a certain satisfaction in the devotion his ex showed him and he was resentful that Logan had taken that away. 

“He wants to look for a fishing boat,” Erik is saying. Charles ignores him and returns to the topic at hand. His ass. 

“Anyway,” Charles says. “My ass.” 

“Yes.”

“I found another list, Erik.”

Erik smiles almost innocently. “I like making lists. So what?”

“Obviously. You also like leaving them lying around where I can find them easily. I wanted to go over some of these things you’ve written about my ass. First, soft but strong? What does that mean?” 

“Oh, it’s very soft and supple, Charles. I like to knead it a bit, like a good bread dough. Mmmmm.” 

Charles frowns. Now his ass is bread dough. 

“But it’s strong too…” Erik words trail off and he blushes. Charles is surprised as he sees color climb up his husband’s cheeks. 

“Strong?”

“Yeah, well, you know when you, uh, fuck me.”

“Yes.” Charles swallows. It doesn’t happen often, but when Charles does top Erik he delights in how hot and tight he is around his cock. It is indeed good. He feels a warm curl of desire in his groin then wills it away. He’s going to see this through. 

“Sometimes I reach back and squeeze, and Charles, Mein Gott, it’s quite strong.” 

“I always thought you were just trying to get me to the right angle.”

“Well,” Erik says, “Not exactly. I just like how hard those muscles get when you pound into me.” 

Charles’ cock twitches. Erik isn’t going to make this easy. 

“What else do you like?”

“You can read the list,” Erik says, sounding mildly irritated, “I have laundry to fold.”

Charles suspects what Erik really means is that he needs to jack off in the bathroom, but that’s not exactly what Charles has planned. 

“I read that you like eating me out.” 

“Charles!” Erik spits out, his voice sounding a little strangled. “I thought you were paying bills and I was doing laundry. Domestic day. That’s what you called it.” 

“I am,” Charles retorts, trying to keep his voice even. “I was just curious.” 

“You know I like that,” Erik growls. “Good god, you are the most responsive man I’ve ever fucked. When my tongue licks your asshole, the way you push back into me.” 

_Fuck_

“What else do you like?” Charles asks again. He’s enjoying the control he has with just his words, the way Erik is playing along, standing across the room, not moving, his chest heaving a little. 

“Jesus Christ, Charles, it’s round, supple, smooth, and all mine. I especially like that it’s all mine. The moment you shook it at me on that train, it was all I wanted. Is that enough? I have to go fold laundry and you are making it VERY difficult.” 

Charles stands up from his chair. Erik stares at him as he steps out from around the table, his mouth falling open as he sees what Charles is wearing. It had taken some time to find them in a size that fit him and there had been some customization needed, but judging by the look on Erik’s face, it was well worth it. 

Charles is wearing his customary weekend T-shirt, leather chaps, and nothing else. 

“Mein Gott,” Erik mutters, looking Charles up and down. Charles turns around and arches his back a little, sticking his ass out as if on display. 

“It’s all yours, darling.” 

Erik growls a little. The laundry doesn't get folded.


	4. The Most Important List

“How much longer?” 

Charles looks up from his magazine to find that his husband is still pacing back in forth in front of him.

“For godsake, Erik, these things take time. Can’t you find something to occupy yourself with, like threatening a doctor or taking this ridiculous sex quiz in Cosmo?”

Erik glares at him.

They’ve been in the waiting room for three hours now, jacked on vending machine coffee and Cheetos. Charles had suggested they wait until morning when Hank had called them to tell them that Raven’s waters had broken, but no. Erik had insisted on grabbing the overnight bag that had been packed and waiting by the front door for two weeks now and heading to the hospital right away. Sometimes Charles wondered who exactly was having the baby - Raven and Hank or Erik.

“How much time?” Erik asks.

“Time, Erik. It’s a new life coming into this world. It’s not like they just open the hatch and take out the baby.”

Erik brightens at this thought. Charles rolls his eyes.

“They have the crib set up, right?”

“Yes, Sharon made sure it’s all done. Speaking of Sharon, she’s in Westchester.... ASLEEP!”

Erik falls into the chair next to Charles and sighs heavily. He runs a hand through his hair.

“You're right. I know you’re right.”

Charles lets his head drop onto his husband’s strong shoulder. He inhales the way Erik smells. He loves it, a combination of something spicy and their laundry detergent. Suddenly Erik jerks up and Charles’ head falls forward.

“What if something’s wrong?”

“Erik!” Charles says with exasperation. “She’s in good hands. The doctors here know what they’re doing. She has Hank. It’s going to be okay.”

Erik turns to look at Charles, his face worried.

“I love her, you know.” Erik says quietly. Charles’ heart skips a beat. Of course Erik loves her. “If something happens…”

“Women have babies all of the time, you big worried man.” Charles says softly, “Most of them do fine, and when they don’t, they get help.” He soothes a hand over Erik’s arm. Erik relaxes slightly. They are both silent for a moment and Charles finally dares to go back to reading the ridiculous Cosmo sex quiz when Erik jumps up again.

“Do you have any paper?” Erik asks.

“No. Maybe at the nurses’ station.”

“Yeah. That should do.”

Erik turns and walks out of the waiting room and down the hallway. Five minutes later he returns with a few sheets of printer paper in one hand and a pen in the other. He sits down on the chair opposite Charles and starts to write. After a few more minutes Charles puts down his magazine and looks across at his husband.

“What are you doing?”

Erik glances up.

“Making a list.”

Erik returns to scribbling on his paper. Charles raises an eyebrow. Erik’s lists make him nervous. He remembers the lists he made on their honeymoon, which mainly involved ways he wanted to have sex with Charles. There was the blow job list which was ‘Why I should be able to grow a beard’ in disguise. The ass list was pretty good and they’d put the chaps it had inspired Charles to buy to good use more than once. But a list right now? Charles truly did not want to end up having sex in the clean utility room while his sister was in labor.

“Why?” Charles asks, feeling a bit wary of where things were heading. Erik looks up again.

“I like to make lists. It calms me.”

“Okay,” is all Charles can say. He thinks whatever the list is about, it’s probably better than an anxious, pacing German.

They sit in silence for a while, Charles now pretending to read, Erik still writing on his paper. Finally, Erik stands up and comes to stand before Charles.

“Ahem.” Erik clears his throat and holds out a piece of paper. Charles sets his magazine down on the side table and takes the piece of paper in Erik’s hand. It is indeed a list. This one with no title. Charles reads it.

_1\. Is kind and caring._

_2\. Has good values._

_3\. Likes basketball. Someone needs to take the kid to games._

_4\. Puts up with me._

Charles stops reading for a moment to laugh a little. Yeah, he puts up with his crazy husband because Erik makes the sun rise on most days. He’ll take a little insanity for that. Or maybe a lot of insanity. Charles returns to reading the list.

_5\. Would allow the kid to make mistakes. He certainly allows me to._

_6\. He is always there._

_7\. Love. Nobody loves like Charles._

Charles feels tears start to well up in his eyes. He puts the list down and looks up at Erik.

“This is so sweet, Erik. Are you going to show it to Raven? I think she would love it.”

Erik frowns a little and looks confused at Charles’ question.

“Show it to Raven?” he asks, sounding puzzled, “Why would I do that?”

“Well, it’s for the baby, right? You wrote this for the baby? About what good uncles we’ll be?”

Erik looks nervous and he looks down at Charles. They are both silent, Charles waiting for Erik to tell him what this list is all about.

“No, Charles,” Erik finally says. “I didn’t write this for her.”

“Then for whom?” Charles asks.

“For you. I wrote it for you. Because, Charles, I want this. I want what Raven and Hank will have. I want it for you and me.”

Charles feels his throat tighten, his heart starts to beat hard. Is Erik saying what he thinks he’s saying?

“I know it will be hard, and a big change, and I love us just the way we are, but I want more. I want…”

Erik pauses and sinks down to one knee, grabbing Charles’ hands in his.

“Oh, Charles. You would make such an amazing father. I want us to have a baby.”

Charles nods. He feels the tears start to leak onto his cheeks, and with no hesitation, he leaps into Erik’s arms.

“Yes,” Charles whispers before Erik’s mouth finds his. The answer is yes.


	5. One Last List

_1\. Lorna_

“Sometimes I really wonder about your timing, Erik.”

“I’m good at multitasking.”

“Are you really...ah, ohhhhhhh. Wait, don’t stop. For fuck’s sake, Erik!”

_2\. Pietro_

“Pietro? Really? What about Peter? Can’t you just decide to be a bit less European?”

“If you argue with me about baby names, I’ll just stop.”

“Ah. Ahhhhh. Oh, Erik, that’s soooo… okay, Pietro. Just keep doing that.”

_3\. Wanda_

“Wanda? Really? Do you think I'm going to agree to something I hate just because I love the way you suck my balls? Jesus Christ, that feels good.”

“Can I grow a beard?”

“No!”

_4\. David_

“Why do you have to decide right now to go over baby names? Seriously, Erik. Can’t you just fuck me?”

“No.”

“I deserve a medal for putting up with you.”

_5\. Kurt._

“We cannot name our baby the same as Raven and Hank’s baby. It just doesn’t work that way.”

_6\. Sharon_

“Fuck, no!”

“But I love your mom.”

“Seriously, do you have to say her name while we’re having sex?”

_7\. Anya_

“Not too bad..ohhh, OH...Jesus christ, Erik, do that again. Mmmmmmmm, you are so good.”

_8\. Moira_

“Can you just lube me up and fuck me already? We won’t be able to do this quite as much when we have a baby.”

“Or babies.”

“Babies????!”

“Now I'm ready to fuck you.”

“Ahhhhh. Ohhhh. Erik Lehnsherr, you are evil.”

 

~fin~


End file.
